Life is too short to waste on useless negativity
Hi.
Please bear with me because I'm not a psychologist/psychotherapist/counsellor or someone with a qualification on modern society.
Recently, I met with a group of schoolfriends, one of whom I hadn't met since 1978/79! That's a heck of a long time and the conversation could have been awkward, because we have all gone in different directions; achieved different ambitions or not; married, single, divorced... The variables were incredible. What transpired was, for me, truly special.
At one point, I was asked if I was ok because I was so quiet! I was revelling. There were no sides; no competition, just a genuine interest in how we were all doing. It was fantastic. We were all comfortable with each other.
I'm fairly forthright and honestly, at this age if people don't like me or some aspect of my lifestyle (including the fact that I prefer to read a book/cook & bake/write my blog to doing housework, which will still await me tomorrow), I really don't mind. I respect others for who and what they are but it's a two way street. Life is too short to waste on useless negativity.
We had a wonderful postman when we moved to Rosscarbery and a few years ago, the two of us fell into conversation. I was bold enough to ask him how he dealt with people he mightn't have necessarily liked as he delivered the post around the parish. Bill's words were profound, 'I tip my cap, bid them a good day, and pass on by.' No negativity but no enemies either, and a man loved and respected by all, or at least I've never heard a negative word about him.
The other things I noticed was that in the few hours I and my secondary school classmates spent together, no one was reaching for a mobile phone; the conversation moved rapidly from one subject to another and everyone listened.
What simple things to notice. I like watching people but it's become very boring in recent years as conversation is reduced to soundbites and most inter-action takes place via a mobile.
A few weeks ago, in Shanley's Pub, Clonakilty, I came as close as I've ever come to whipping a phone out of a stranger's hand. There was a 4 day music fest of which I had been unaware until Willie and I went there for a lunchtime drink to start our wedding anniversary celebration. Lunchtime gigs are rare enough these days so this was special and what a line up of talent. Amazing! I love music and was lost to conversation as it ebbed and flowed around me. Having enjoyed a superb lunch in The Farm Restaurant, Willie & I returned in good time to secure a seat for the evening session. To watch Bill Shanley as guest musicians came and went around him was beyond words. He appeared to adapt his playing style to that of the guest artists & the music was all consuming. Anyway a group of ladies found seats very close to the musicians and it was obvious that they were one family and two generations. My eyes couldn't help but be drawn to the young lady who made it so plain that she didn't want to be there. Right through the music, she played with her phone. Manners! Music appreciation! My hands itched so so much.... Even if these factors didn't appeal, what about simple conversation with the rest of the ladies in the group. This young woman I won't forget because she was so negative & it spoiled the atmosphere. I didn't allow her to affect me although I pitied her for what she wasn't appreciating.
Negativity is so poisonous but our inability to listen without making a judgement is also not doing society any favours in my humble opinion.
Over the next few weeks, I'm probably going to bore some of you senseless as I mention various aspects of this year's A Taste of West Cork Food Festival, but I have to begin by mentioning Food: Fiction, Fads & Phonies. This is more than a seminar, it's a conversation which may challenge attendees as the speakers will argue their points of view but will listen and respond to their audicence. The speaker line-up hasn't been finalised as it depends on availability. So please, keep in touch. €50 per person including lunch on Thursday, 13th September, in The Seafood Development Centre, Clonakilty. To book: www.eventbrite.ie/e/fiction-fads-phonies-seminar-tickets-47175527272?aff=ebdssbdestsearch
Please bear with me because I'm not a psychologist/psychotherapist/counsellor or someone with a qualification on modern society.
Recently, I met with a group of schoolfriends, one of whom I hadn't met since 1978/79! That's a heck of a long time and the conversation could have been awkward, because we have all gone in different directions; achieved different ambitions or not; married, single, divorced... The variables were incredible. What transpired was, for me, truly special.
At one point, I was asked if I was ok because I was so quiet! I was revelling. There were no sides; no competition, just a genuine interest in how we were all doing. It was fantastic. We were all comfortable with each other.
I'm fairly forthright and honestly, at this age if people don't like me or some aspect of my lifestyle (including the fact that I prefer to read a book/cook & bake/write my blog to doing housework, which will still await me tomorrow), I really don't mind. I respect others for who and what they are but it's a two way street. Life is too short to waste on useless negativity.
We had a wonderful postman when we moved to Rosscarbery and a few years ago, the two of us fell into conversation. I was bold enough to ask him how he dealt with people he mightn't have necessarily liked as he delivered the post around the parish. Bill's words were profound, 'I tip my cap, bid them a good day, and pass on by.' No negativity but no enemies either, and a man loved and respected by all, or at least I've never heard a negative word about him.
The other things I noticed was that in the few hours I and my secondary school classmates spent together, no one was reaching for a mobile phone; the conversation moved rapidly from one subject to another and everyone listened.
What simple things to notice. I like watching people but it's become very boring in recent years as conversation is reduced to soundbites and most inter-action takes place via a mobile.
A few weeks ago, in Shanley's Pub, Clonakilty, I came as close as I've ever come to whipping a phone out of a stranger's hand. There was a 4 day music fest of which I had been unaware until Willie and I went there for a lunchtime drink to start our wedding anniversary celebration. Lunchtime gigs are rare enough these days so this was special and what a line up of talent. Amazing! I love music and was lost to conversation as it ebbed and flowed around me. Having enjoyed a superb lunch in The Farm Restaurant, Willie & I returned in good time to secure a seat for the evening session. To watch Bill Shanley as guest musicians came and went around him was beyond words. He appeared to adapt his playing style to that of the guest artists & the music was all consuming. Anyway a group of ladies found seats very close to the musicians and it was obvious that they were one family and two generations. My eyes couldn't help but be drawn to the young lady who made it so plain that she didn't want to be there. Right through the music, she played with her phone. Manners! Music appreciation! My hands itched so so much.... Even if these factors didn't appeal, what about simple conversation with the rest of the ladies in the group. This young woman I won't forget because she was so negative & it spoiled the atmosphere. I didn't allow her to affect me although I pitied her for what she wasn't appreciating.
Negativity is so poisonous but our inability to listen without making a judgement is also not doing society any favours in my humble opinion.
Over the next few weeks, I'm probably going to bore some of you senseless as I mention various aspects of this year's A Taste of West Cork Food Festival, but I have to begin by mentioning Food: Fiction, Fads & Phonies. This is more than a seminar, it's a conversation which may challenge attendees as the speakers will argue their points of view but will listen and respond to their audicence. The speaker line-up hasn't been finalised as it depends on availability. So please, keep in touch. €50 per person including lunch on Thursday, 13th September, in The Seafood Development Centre, Clonakilty. To book: www.eventbrite.ie/e/fiction-fads-phonies-seminar-tickets-47175527272?aff=ebdssbdestsearch
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